PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
