Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
