i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Randomize
