How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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