If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
