The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
