worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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