Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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