you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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