the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
