I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize