We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
