A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
