I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
