Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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