Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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