I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
This house was built for laser tag.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Randomize
