I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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