Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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