You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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