i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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