i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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