I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
