the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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