quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
