I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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