no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
