I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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