I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
