i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize