I think i peed on brittanys purse
false alarm. still invincible.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
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