She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
