even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize