you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Randomize
