Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
