watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
