Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
well you can't waste a boner
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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