Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
