i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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