if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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