Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
