Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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