Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
