things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
