Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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