somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He had one of those small greek statue penises
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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