Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he had hair everywhere except his balls
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
