i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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