And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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