i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
