smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize