so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize