If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
