uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
