My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
