Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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