He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
