There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
