Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
