I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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