omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
