Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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