he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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