We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
