And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize