every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
