I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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